I’m Not The Multiple Sclerosis Hero I’m Supposed to Be…Yet

When I was first diagnosed with MS, I thought it would be like what I saw on TV and social media: Balloons, inspirational stories, a book deal…and inspirational montages of me doing workouts with people cheering me on…as I completed another workout

I did not expect it be my laying flat on the bed with pain everywhere and taking minutes to move in Atlanta while looking at (and cursing) my cane because it’s a visual sign that I am now different..with a half clean room because I didn’t have the energy to pick up anything or move and a body that slept less than 2 hours but hating the fact that my 38-year self was breaking down.

I did not expect this….

That was me for the last day and a half

Relapses (or whatever the heck you call when your syptoms intesify)

I also have to restart eating (I lost weight) and exercise from one pushup and build from there again…all the while trying to figure out what is triggering these relapses (I highly suspect food is a big factor) and what my next step should be (disability, continue working, what this means for my future)

That is the part that hurts the most…because MS is literally make me take things one day at a time, one meal at a time, and one exercise at a time. It is also making me really aware of what I eat, how I sleep, etc….when I took those things for granted.

So, maybe all of this weirdly will make me healthier…because I’m cutting out highly processed food out of fear of a future, more painful relapse and I’m getting stricter on sleep and just being more aware of my body….which make me the MS Hero I’m supposed to be

Not the vision I had for myself, but I’m learning that Life is not all about what I envision for the future, but what I create with the present

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Charles Franklin

Charles Franklin

Believer. Student. Writer. Prayer Warrior.